Without I a word,
when I awake
my mask comes on
and I leave it
for the world to
know that I am okay,
when really I hate,
myself and everything,
I do to myself.
 
I hate that I hurt,
physically,
mentally,
emotionally,
and worst of all,
when I hurt myself,
on my wrist,
on my arm,
and on my thigh.
 
I don’t want people,
to know neither do I,
want to know that I do this.
I cover them up not letting,
anyone see, not even the light.
And when they heal,
they stare at me,
“look what you did,
and never forget it”
 
I never have forgotten,
never will they well be
with me forever,
and when my kids ask
I will not know what to say.
When my friends ask I just
say oh you know, they’re
nothing and walk away not,
never bringing them out.
 
I know that I have to stop,
I know that this can’t go on,
I know that something may be wrong,
I know why,
I know that I should tell,
but what I do not know is how,
can’t I got over this feeling
there has to be something else,
I can feel other than this.

(2013)

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