To Marcy Howard

I’ve sat and thought for many hours, of things that happened to me,
I’ve dreamed about the things I want, and the things I really need,
But I guess the hardest thought of all, is the thought of saying goodbye,
To a love I’ll always hold, and to a love that had to die.
 
 
I watched a sure and slow demise, and I know it took its toll,
While on the day she passed away, what she wanted was my goal,
For a time she lived inside, the Cedarbrook Nursing Home,
And through the course of her stay, a nurse’s aide made me her own.
 
 
The love I have for my wife, continues to this day,
While the pain which I endured, could not go away,
This nurse’s aide gave me love, gave me the will to care,
This pain caused me to make mistakes, because this pain I couldn’t share.
 
 
Guilt keeps me from going back, to a place where love was lost,
And because I couldn’t deal with things, my new found love was the cost,
I cared for a loving soul, and it was worth the years of hell,
I did things that weren’t me, to lose the other love as well.
 
 
I don’t profess to be a prince, but I’d like that aide to know,
That every day is filled with you and this love can only grow,
I need to have you in my life, to have the things we found,
And though some pain still exists, it was buried in the ground.
 
 
I hold the hope you’ll let me show, the love we found was real,
And that my actions will prove to you, its love for you I feel,
And yes I surely realize, that this may be to late,
But for the soulmate I found in you, if it takes forever, I will wait!!
       Only you

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love lost and love gained

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