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Unfaded Fondness

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A faded hat holds a memory, of a woman who now is gone,
And though it’s tattered, beaten and torn, love rides right along,
As she left from this world, did she understand my tears,
I hope she didn’t see my pain, that she couldn’t feel my fears,
Fate gave her Alzheimers, over time it took it’s toll,
For awhile all I had was anger, for this woman and love life stole.
 
 
It’s hard to even imagine, how hard it was for her,
Hating the constant changes, while accepting there was no cure,
At times frustration overwhelmed, as she changed from adult to child,
And all the time I looked on, I hoped she’d keep her smile,
If what you have has no cure, is there a way to measure hope,
And while on this long and windy road, now alone, how do we cope.
 
 
As a caregiver you become their world, as a spouse you’re filled with dread,
Caring for them becomes your world, and it consumes both heart and head,
Piece by piece they slip away, the light changing in their eyes,
Love becomes a different thing, it begins wearing time’s disguise,
As I watched her slip away, more and more I was alone,
The heart takes on a different form, a heart now made of stone.
 
 
Pain and guilt for awhile grew, but a heart reached out to me,
Her love saved me from myself, and she could actually see,
Loneliness might have different degrees, and my life preserver was you,
Though floating on a sea of pain, each day a new love grew,
There were times when faith grew dim, to have tomorrows seemed unfair,
She deserved life more than I, not this warm but vacant stare.
 
 
Our destination was unknown, yet still was hard to handle,
A heart reached out to take my hand, to re-ignite loves candle,
To say I loved my wife, is an understatement at best,
Alone in so many ways, but loves still beating in the chest,
No one wants to be alone, and this love will never never die,
And for years I didn’t even care, to give any new love a try.
 
 
A heart in love but still alone, could anyone understand,
Pain became a destructive force and it reached into this man,
Actions and assumptions turned the man into a shell,
And every night the eyes are closed, is a trip straight into hell,
For 3 long years my wife is gone, and that new love ran away,
Yet still I have two lives inside, and each is there to stay.
 
 
November 17th is the anniversary, of the day one went away,
A day when color in my life, was changed to battle gray,
Now each day I’m remained, that love is very real,
And I guess I am a lucky man, because I’be held the things I feel,
Though one love is in mother earth, and the other’s so far away, I’ve learned to believe in what was found,
And though alone loves here to stay.

December 9th,2017

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