The Skeptic
Today I am a skeptic
not believing this will last
as I sit here I ponder and doubt the very words I type
and I think of the letter you wrote me
I ponder and doubt it too
today is a day of no possibility
in my own head
seeing the world with old tired eyes
a soul too wounded to feel magic anymore
and yet I find comfort in the imagination
of a dreaming toddler
hope and potential
you lay in bed
sleeping away the day and our time
a hangover maybe
or maybe you’re just too tired of life
this life you promised to me
and the little one in the other room
who dreams of dragons and mermaids
while we scramble for conversation
you’d rather caress your phone than me
and I sit here wondering if i’m just meant
to be stuck in a haze where nothing is certain
you have poisoned me
there was a time when i had a chance at life
but here we are and i’m just a maid in another man’s house
like a fish out of water
I’ve given up trying to get back where i belong
i accept my fate and just hope that one day i can be glad that I did
you’ve sucked the passion out of me
maybe our tiny dancer can survive
she’ll grow up to do amazing things
never mind her mother who didn’t have the strength
to reach her own dreams
All i have is crap for so called ART and a few poorly written poems
I was meant to be a bohemian child
formed in the bowels of an alcoholic storm full of danger
and pain
I wanted to move to a far away land and rewrite the world
expose it for what it was
be a poster child for the broken and give them hope
and my precious baby at my side
I dreamed that we’d lead a life of righteousness
instead she and I are stuck here
I’m cleaning your floors on hands and knees
and she gets to see my pain and tears
and wonders why mommy never wants to play
'not now baby, mommy is so tired’
tired indeed; tired of being a failure
showing my daughter not to go for her dreams but
to be someone’s doormat
and that’s why today I am a skeptic
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