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Expectations of Failure

People expect me to be on par with everything I say.
To what they want to hear and their way.
If I am honest they will get mad.
and have the capability of taking what I had.
 
People get mad when I do certain things.
and vice versa until it stings.
I try and people don’t truly see it.
Going certain places feeling misfit.
 
Some just want me to forget it and let go.
but i’m all in and thats what people don’t know.
If I give something my all i’m in.
I will not let someone tear me down from a win.
 
My wants to me are not wants they are needs.
When with held another want is what it breeds.
I don’t look for issues and I never start problems.
 
I wish people would connect with me more.
not doing so drives me dry to the core.
People never tell me the problems they have with me.
they don’t let me help them understand and see.
 
Jumping conclusions and starting necessary wars.
Always opening new malfunctioning doors.
I never look for battles but conversations.
Everyone hides behind no eye contact and non emotional translations.
 
I felt out of place for my wrongs from the past.
But I hope this feeling doesn’t always last.
I try for the one I love to make things work well.
And relationships to hopefully swell.
 
I know i’m taking all these feeling out on this site.
But it helps keep me out of another fight.
The one I love is breaking down and i’m trying to hold her together.
As I feel like dried out powdery leather.

(2015)

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