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Straining To The Left

i have 2 paths capable of taking.
to the left or to the right.
but i can turn right when ever i wish.
if i go left.
i will move on with life.
save myself and wait for the things i need.
patiently, hurting but patiently.
if i go to the right.
i break down and throw the rest of myself away.
get rid of myself.
hurt the ones i love more than i have.
and it hurts to move forward.
but i do not wish to be selfish anymore.
but the pain that keeps building up.
makes myself want to make a sharp turn.
so shall i keep to the left?
some say i should. but actions say otherwise.
i have a long road ahead of me.
not anytime to turn to the right.
but i hope i do not have a change of directions.

(2014)

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