i am hated here but held for interrogation.
i can never be let off easy.
everyday a bullet seems more pleasing.
i am a mess with o where to go.
nothing to do.
nobody to be.
i pray to god for guidance .
but the voices i once heard are silent.
god and i have disconnected somewhere in this nightmare.
i hit myself telling myself it is just a dream and i will wake up.
crying myself to sleep hoping for a sign of something good.
my parents pry everything out of me.
even the things that upset me.
always putting me to shame.
i ask why not just kill myself.
there is no purpose to be here.
the only one i had is gone.
i don’t know if i will make it tomorrow.
i have hit bottom and i can’t get up.
should i runaway?
it would be useless.
she was the reason i did.
hoping it would make her as happy as she made me.
i would do anything possible if i was given another chance.
but nobody has the ability.
my credibility is way to low.
and i have nobody to blame but myself.
so why are my prayers not being answered?
they say no sin is too big for his love to overcome.
but my situation says otherwise.
i have fallen and fallen too hard to get up.
life got the upper hand.
it damn near knocked me out.
i cant fight anymore.
everything has fed off of me along with myself.
its time for me to go.
time for me to leave.
i do not wish to be here anymore. its like being stuck hearing all of your mistakes ad flaws being yelled at you while being whipped in the chains i will never be free from.