It’s 4:15 AM in Concord, CA. I’m writing this because I guess I need to vent. I’m not good at venting. I never share my feelings with anyone. I’m still the scared little boy whose an only child with no one to tell his secrets to. I have a hard time opening up to people. It’s impossible for me to let anyone in. I reflect on previous relationships with women and coincidentally every single girl I’ve ever dated has had a problem with me not opening up to her. How can I open up to someone I don’t trust? How can I trust someone? With my heart and soul. No thank you. I’ll continue bottling my emotions until I explode. That won’t be pretty but it’s my destiny. I’m doomed forever and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I think my suicidal thoughts mostly are formed because of the mysterious curiosity of what happens after. Plus I fucking hate it here. Not concord. Not California. Not America. The world. The universe. I’m finished.