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Indifferent Denial

To all of you, my denying saviours...

For those who care,
Trust me I care more,
About you,
About God knows who,
I wish I didn’t,
I wish I lived without feelings,
Without feeling that your pain,
Is more important than my own,
I wish it didn’t bother me,
How first you say, you’re sorry.
And then you say nothing,
I wish I could never see,
My unanswered messages to you,
Because they mean nothing,
But they mean everything to me,
I don’t care what you say,
But what hurts me most,
Is how you don’t say anything,
Nothing,
Indifference,
Nothing.
Why do I help,
And you promise,
And you don’t,
And you don’t even bother,
You don’t even see,
How painful it is,
How much I want to cry,
But I don’t,
I can’t,
Because there’s not
A good enough reason,
For my tears,
But there is always for yours,
Why?
Isn’t that unfair?
But who makes the rules?
I make the rules,
And I let you,
And I always will,
Because you are more important,
Because you will be the one,
Who they will listen to,
But yet you never even speak,
Not to me,
Not to them.
And I care,
And I told you,
I told you,
But you didn’t hear,
Because you don’t listen,
And never did,
And never will,
And then I tell them,
That I don’t care,
And then they tell you,
And you listen to them,
They’re better than me,
I know,
Because you listen to them,
And not to me,
But know,
I care,
And I will,
But don’t worry,
Because if you feel,
That someone is indifferent,
I am here for you,
To use,
And then never talk to again,
Unless noone else is there.
So, I’m sorry,
That I care so much,
I know you hate it,
Don’t worry,
I feel just the same.
I’m sorry.
I’m so sory.

(2015)

Truth is hard to hear, why? Because you can deny it until somebody tells you the truth, somebody tells that they can see your denial?

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