force of nature
when i was little, my dad and i would make it our mission to drive in circles around the neighborhood whenever it rained
my 4 year old eyes would lock onto the droplets speeding down the window
and i was captivated
we could have driven past every wonder of the world and i wouldn’t dare take my eyes off the drips of water racing to the bottom of the window frame
my 4 year old heart beat in time with the rain pitter pattering on the roof of the car
i’d name each miniature pool of water and silently root for one
until it was drowned out by the overwhelming skill the sky had for providing race participants.
when i was little, my brother and i would make it our mission to save our tiny bug village from the oncoming flood of rainwater running down our driveway
we’d build dams out of thorned sticks to protect ladybugs
and walls of jagged gravel to protect grasshoppers
every bit of my innocent 5 year old soul willed the rain to somehow stop
somehow halt itself before it inevitably rushed through the walls and dams i turned my hands red creating
but it never did
gravity always won and nature never payed me or my 5 year old feelings any mind.
when i was little, i was petrified of thunderstorms
on easter sunday in my 7th year a rolling mass of clouds the color of charcoal decided to visit
and with them they brought the mesmerizing beauty and temptation of lightning followed by the chaotic, surround sound explosion of thunder
i never learned to stay away from the windows
the bright flashes in the sky urged me to look but i was never prepared for the noise that followed
it was the first time i realized beautiful things don’t always stay beautiful.
when i was 9 years old exactly, i saw the sky open up and drop itself down to my level through the window of my third grade classroom
teachers shouted above the sirens to get far away from the thin planes of glass that gave us a glimpse into what this world was capable of
and drop to our knees in the hallway
we were given science textbooks to shield ourselves with
the same textbooks that taught us of how erratic
how unstable
this planet can be.
mother nature shows us no mercy
wind has the strength to destroy buildings crafted of steel and limestone
it makes trees buckle from their roots up
rain has the power to erode mountains made of rock older than time itself
one monsoon and they’re nothing but memories of an earth long gone
the sky turns the color of ash during storms for a reason
i used to dance in the downpour, blissfully unaware of its ability to drown me
i still do
only now, i wouldn’t wish that ignorance on my worst enemy
i dance in the midst of a force of nature with open lungs and a 5 year old soul with hands stained red
building thorned dams and gravel walls inside of me
to keep the flood at bay.
it's been raining a lot in my hometown recently and it made me think about how powerful nature really is and how easily it can turn sour. this was the result of those thoughts.
