Pledge
I sit here and lose myself
in the thoughts of years ago
In the images that pass
Of a once so happy home
And I am still connected
through the heart to those I love
but the ones I’ve lost, so many
are the ones forever gone
I look up in the mirror
and I’ll smile though its broke
my teeth are crooked, my skin is dry
your vision is life’s tole
I used to want to do things
Go to school, have a good job
But it seems I’ve lost myself too
admist the inner angry mob
the music never plays
and my voice it never sings
the silence is my favorite
for i dont hear anything
the lights, they never shine
my eyes, they never see
the darkness is my favorite
for I see less of me
I remember when I was four
my house smelled of lemon pledge
and my mother weighed 100 pounds more
and my dad, he made her laugh
It was right after that birthday
when the house had smelled of must
with empty boxes filling
with the resonating dust
My mother laughs no longer
and she’s skinnier than me
If I were to see her smile now
I wouldnt recognize her teeth
I was always told how much we looked alike
from the day that I was born
And now thats I’m older
I’m feeling just as worn
But its funny how your smile
after years and months have passed
still spreads like fire inside me
as if my blood was full of gas
and its funny how your laughter
makes me feel like im four again
in my bugs t shirt playing lucky ducks
there it is, the lemon scent
(2013)
