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It Was A Delight

just a speck
no one cares to see
till I start to grow 
in my mommy’s tummy
 
I grow and grow
and before you know
I have ten little fingers
and ten little toes
 
eventually
I glimpse my first sun
as my eyes first open
and my life has begun
 
I learn to crawl
then learn to walk
now I am running
and soon I’ll talk
 
tears welled in her eyes
when I first said “mama"
and daddy smiled in delight
when I spoke “papa"
 
dirty diapers 
to pull up pants
baby gibberish
to toddler rants
 
from toddler to kid
I’m still your baby
no matter how old 
I always will be
 
now I start school
I’ll take the bus alone
but please don’t fear
to others I’m known
 
I make lots of friends 
throughout elementary
when I’m in middle school
I’ll have a friend with chemistry
 
but don’t you worry
its all a part of life
I had my first kiss
and it was a delight
 
we broke up in high school
but still remained friends
middle school relationship
are always bound to end
 
 
while in my little romance
I failed to see 
the most important of romances
crumble in front of me
 
my parents divorced
I refused to listen why
i was crushed and broken
but I refused to cry
 
its strange how things work
when you have a tragety
your once “friends” leave you
in the mist of catastrophe
 
loneliness swept 
up under my door
a type of loneliness 
I’ve never felt before
 
the first time I spotted
that blade, I cried
the second time I spotted
it, was the time I died
 
I laid in the bath
as the red river flowed
my breath grew shallow
as the bright light glowed
 
when my mother discovered
she cried beside me
she called up my papa
who couldn’t look at his baby
 
I was taken away
I’d gone up to heaven
and sadly left my parents
to their own depression
 
right from the beginning
we are closing to an end
the clock of life tics on
till our bodies expend

(2014)

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or a cutter, at least not anymore

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