Delayed Grief
Unable to cope
When you passed away
I continued to work and carry on
With all normal tasks to keep at bay
The feelings of grief that I had no time for
So I just ignored
The days drifted by and slowly I declined
To acknowledge the fact your not here
I didn’t want any tears in fear of melting into
A mess into something less.
I didn’t want to think of you so I consumed
Myself with tasks but that didn’t last.
As days went by simple tasks got harder to get complete
I wished I was obsolete.
To everyone I was fine
I had to shine that was the bottom line
I didn’t want to think of you or me,
So I did what I do best, I suppress
Now time has moved on by
But my feelings have been paused
As I didn’t want them to cause the feeling
Of pain I would slowly go insane.
I avoid times that I would remember you
I don’t want to reminisce
And think of the fun times you have missed.
I don’t go to where you rest if I don’t see it then
I don’t have to accept that heaven have taken the
Very best.
To others it might come across like I don’t care
But it’s to spare the pain that grieve brings
So I think that’s a little unfair
Some say grief gets easier with time
I wouldn’t know if that’s a lie
I kept my feelings back at a different line
My feelings have been paused
But it’s only a matter of time
That they catch up with me
I’m sure I will be fine
And I will continue to shine
But I wish you were by my side.
It’s not easy Christmas was the fun times
We had.
Now your not here I feel angry, lost, alone and
Ever so sad that your not here to guide me home
Or just pick up the phone.
Delayed grief has cosumed me
I can’t hide anymore
I can’t ignore
It’s like you were taken yesterday but in reality
It’s a year where are all my tears?
were they ever on
Show no one knows.
My numbness is starting to fade but I wish I could
Stay in the shade.
One day I will think of you
And reminisce until one day we can catch
up on all the things you have missed.
Until that day comes my brother and friend
I will see you at the very end.
I sadly.lost my brother Jan 2017 this poem is all about grief, more of avoidance of grief and not accepting the loss. He was only 24 a great man such a loss to our family
