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Something a little more..

You say hello.
It begins with a polite exchange.
We chat for an hour, and I refuse to be sour.
Maybe this one is different? Maybe this one is true?
I reveal some secrets and some hidden desires to you.
 
We speak of our future plans and goals in life,
And I speak of how I was once someone’s wife.
Another hour passes us by.
We have a lot in common by the way,
Or so you say…
And I begin to believe that things will be okay.
 
You convince me that we should meet.
I tell myself not to worry and that things could be sweet?
It would be nice to chat some more, but instead I allow myself to fall.
Because after all, I wouldn’t want to be a bore!
And maybe, just maybe this time I will truly score?
 
I begin to mentally prepare, because surely this one will actually care?
I decide on what to wear, and how I will do my hair.
 
We meet for a drink.  It will only be one drink.
There’s no harm in one drink? No harm in two or three?
At least then I will be feeling a little free!
 
I have now messed up my hair, after things became bare.
But that’s okay, because surely this one will care!
 
I have learnt that there’s no need for shame,
Because, after all this is just part of the game.
 
I get home and days pass. I tell myself that I will never drink another glass.
 
I do not hear from you again.  
This sort of behaviour, I am now used to accepting.
 
It is a vicious cycle that begins with attention and flattery.
It was what I had yearned for.  
The things my life had been missing.
 
But now is the part where I begin to feel empty.
I thought things would be different this time, and that maybe things would be sweet?
 
It wasn’t love that I was searching for.  
Just purely, something a little more.

(2013)

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