Safely Dead
This poem is about a girl who committed suicide but hasn't completely died yet. She's dead but not in heaven. It's kind of like the book lovely bones.
I used to look at the world and marvel at its wonders. How beautiful it was and what it had to offer me. But then I saw its great ugliness and marveled with disgust, and when I died I knew the world had killed me in its lust. Although by my own hand I entered the bluish limbo, never had I dreamed it to be so unfair and death desiring. I was forced to look at the world and long for life again. It was as if I was being punished for my sin. I saw my friends and their lives being lived as they should. I hated it and wished I contained life like them once more. But here I was trapped in my blue world awaiting my final end. The place between heaven and earth is where I remained. I was angry at myself and thought what a foolish girl I was for killing myself. And just when I began to beg for life again, the gates to heaven opened up and finally took me in. When I got there in sheets of gold I laid and closed my eyes in bed. And when I fell asleep the voice of angels said, have no fear child, for now you’re safely dead.
(2014)
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