There is something about a Martin
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martin

Oh, “rorty” was a mid-Victorian w
Which meant “fine, splendid, jolly
And often to me it has reoccurred
In moments melancholy.
For instance, children, I think i

O Duty,
Why hast thou not the visage of a
Why displayest thou the countenanc
conscientious organizing spinster
That the minute you see her you ar

The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he’s not a feast.
Farwell, farewell, you old rhinoce
I’ll stare at something less prepo

Who is the happy husband? Why, in
'Tis he who’s useless in the time
Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet o
Contrives to be utterly futile, fu
Or when a zipper nips his loved on

The ostrich roams the great Sahar
Its mouth is wide, its neck is nar
It has such long and lofty legs,
I’m glad it sits to lay its eggs.

The Lord in His wisdom made the f
And then forgot to tell us why.

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn’t anybody’s joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes
His character was full of flaws.
In school he never led his classes

Oh, weep for Mr. and Mrs. Bryan!
He was eaten by a lion;
Following which, the lion’s liones
Up and swallowed Bryan’s Bryaness