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Fever Dream

Kiss the diseased petals of my lips
And say Goodbye,
This fairy tale is over.
My consciousness fades,
Delirium fog is drawing the curtain
On the spark of light
As neurons, one by one,
Are flickering off
And severing connections
With the bright new morning
Outside.
My soul is getting ready
To vacate this house on fire,
The door to somewhere else
Is half way open.
You squeeze my hand
And will to keep me here,
But it is not my say
If I should stay.
We have a semblance of control in life,
But death is preordained and certain.
This fever will only break
With the last weak heartbeat.
Your desperate tears
Will not bring back
To life the one you love.
 
               ***
 
The burning petals of your lips I kiss
And squeeze your frail hand,
Tangled hair strewn over pillow like seaweed,
Rasp of labored breath,
The waves of agony–
I know what you see
With eyes half closed
—The Last Door—
I won’t let you through.
Like Dante,
I’ll walk into inferno
To bring you back,
Because without my Love
Life is none but Hell, frozen over.
 
I promise,
When you get strong again
We’ll pay a visit
To the snow-capped mountain
That likes to gaze upon
The mirror of alpine lake beneath,
Where eagles screech
And dive for trout.
 
I saw Him,
Lurking in the dark,
Intent on taking your last breath.
For both of us I have enough
Of will to live.
I’ll keep a vigil through the night
And stay away your death.
 
 
©Olga Gavrilovskiy 2020

Death has been on the mind of many a person this year especially. The first line of this poem came to being when I was sick with flu years ago. And I felt like I was dying, which is a rather normal feeling when you are burning up with a high fever. So it was not a big stretch to imagine how it would be if that was my end. The bleakness and simplicity of wording go hand in hand with the finality of life's end.

#Death #desperation #Goodbye #love #tears

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