Pardon my existence

I really wanted to die
underneath that heavenly blue sky,
and leave behind the tensions and failures of yesterday,
and float upwards and away from the land where mortals pay.
No longer called a buffoon,
no longer waiting for better times coming soon.
I finally felt a  sense of peace
on that soft soil and limited disturbances which promised to cease.
Fading away into hopeful darkness.
I found myself desiring less and less
than that rapture, currently transpiring.
Me transitioning from the living to the dying.
Alas, I woke up to the sweating sun,
ungrateful for all the things I had done.
Sleeping under a tree, existing on private property.
Nothing I do ever goes through correctly, or even admirably.


Sleep, Nature, Death, Dissapointment

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almost 6 years

Also "Red Eye in the Sky"

almost 6 years

I can understand your feelings. I have written a few poems about letting go, a couple that I have posted here. One in particular "Still Waters" which I wrote right after Robin Williams committed suicide. Appreciate if you could read it. It is meant to be hopeful.

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