Oh bear with me, for I am old And count on fingers five The years this pencil I may hold And hope to be alive; How sadly soon our dreaming ends!

I cannot flap a flag Or beat a drum; Behind the mob I lag With larynx dumb; Alas! I fear I’m not

One day the Great Designer sought His Clerk of Birth and Death. Said he: “Two souls are in my tho… to whom I gave life—breath. I deemed my work was fitly done,

His portrait hung upon the wall. Oh how at us he used to stare. Each Sunday when I made my call!… And when one day it wasn’t there, Quite quick I seemed to understan…

No lyric line I ever penned The praise this parasitic bird; And what is more, I don’t intend To write a laudatory word, Since in my garden robins made

I’m one of these haphazard chaps Who sit in cafes drinking; A most improper taste, perhaps, Yet pleasant, to my thinking. For, oh, I hate discord and strif…

When first I left Blighty they ga… And told me it ‘ad to be smothered… But blimey! I ’aven’t been able t… So far as I’ve gone wiv the vinta… For ain’t it a fraud! when a Boch…

“I’m taking pen in hand this night… My poor old fingers tremble so, my… And even with my glasses on I’m t… You’d little know your mother, boy… You mind how brisk and bright I w…

Treat ‘Em Rough First time I dared propose, A callow lad was I; I donned my Sunday clothes, I wore my Old School Tie.

Clemenceau His frown brought terror to his fo… But now in twilight of his days The pure perfection of a rose Can kindle rapture in his gaze.

I wanted the gold, and I sought i… I scrabbled and mucked like a slav… Was it famine or scurvy—I fought… I hurled my youth into a grave. I wanted the gold, and I got it—

My worldly wealth I hoard in albu… My life collection of rare postage… My room is cold and bare as you ca… My coat is old and shabby as a tra… Yet more to me than balances in ba…

I’m sitting by the fire tonight, The cat purrs on the rug; The room’s abrim with rosy light, Suavely soft and snug; And safe and warm from dark and st…

Deeming that I were better dead, “How shall I kill myself?” I said… Thus mooning by the river Seine I sought extinction without pain, When on a bridge I saw a flash