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Poem: Insane

I still wake up breathing your name, like it’s the oxygen I need to proceed,
and I can hear myself whispering the two syllables of your name,
driving me two minutes past crazy and half past insane,
the way my voice catches those corners of vowels and constanants
never fails to make me content
and though it’s no longer the intent
just a look for your eyes
drives my heartbeat between thoughts
and I’m down with sweat
bathed in regret
that we ever went there
Because now all I can do is remember
when all I really want is to remember to forget
 
but somehow every time I see you in thought I regress
the secrets whispered between us under the cover night
were never ever wrong
but somehow it wasn’t quite right
 
right?
 
I had faith in the reflection of god I found in your eyes
but you couldn’t live with that reflection
because my love seemed to deflect your personal god inside
maybe your just stronger than me or is it stronger than I
 
Because for me my god never had a capital “g’”
but I will never forget about you when I capitalize “J"
but I digress
or maybe I really deride
 
I’ll let you know once I come to terms with these issues inside
 
and if I’m not to desperate maybe you’ll subscribe
and I promise not to define my feelings anymore
(as if love could ever be truly described)
 
but until then I’ll still wake up breathing your name, like it’s the oxygen I need to proceed,
and I will forever hear me whispering with love the two syllables of your name
driving me two minutes past crazy and half past insane...

(2015)

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