Boredom and loneliness
Are making me make my same old mistakes.
I forgot how much of a sweet talker you are
It’s so bittersweet
It sounds so good
But it hurts so bad
My heart wants to be sad
My head needs to be mad.
Why can’t I just be glad to hear you’re doing well,
Why is it not enough?
Why do I crave so much more?
You broke my heart once already
I know you could do it again.
Telling myself little white lies
The same ones I’ve said before
Like ‘it doesn’t mean anything’
And ‘nothing can come from it’
ignoring my instincts
I swore I would ignore this sore
In my chest you left me with.
I swore I would never fill the gap in my soul
With you again.
But here we go again
Talking all day
Thinking all night
I can’t sleep
Don’t want to eat
Nothing tastes good
Without you anymore
I thought I was over you
But I don’t think I ever will be
The first cut is the deepest
And it left a permanent scar…
You’re killing me softly
Saying things like
“I’d sell my soul if I could keep you warm tonight”
“You made my whole year by us talking,”
“I’m going crazy thinking about us”
Your words are sweet poison
And I just eat it up.
I tell you how you’re killing me
And you apologize for coming on too strong
But I tell you not to say sorry
Like the masochistic hoar I am.
I haven’t changed like I thought I had.
I’m making the same mistakes.
I guess I lied when I said I’d never be that girl.