You say you don’t believe me
Yet I have shown you proof
I don’t know why you choose not to believe me
When I’m castrating myself in front of you
I have been humiliated more times than I can count
Don’t tell me to grow up
When you haven’t even grown to my level
Don’t blame your insecurities on me
I have enough of my own
Why are you getting so offended
When I’m just speaking the truth?
I’m not going to apologize any more
For seeing what I see
I can’t help that I am observant
I can’t help that I have this sixth sense
That sees through the parts of you that you don’t want me to see
And you keep putting me underneath a microscope
Keeping me contained in your little lab
But I’ve already cut myself open for you
Stop digging your needle into all of my veins
You’ve already infected me
My blood is only transmittable to you
What more can you ask for?
What more can I do?
You keep trying to see through me
But there’s nothing left of me to see through
I’m standing before you naked all the way down to my very soul
I have told you my darkest secrets
I have bared all of my shame
I’ve cried all these tears over you
For you are the reason for all our bloodstains
I tell it like it is
And keep myself open
Even though you closed yourself off from me
But that’s okay
Because I know why now
You have been weighed and you have been measured
And you know that I have found you wanting
I would say I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve
But my heart like my mind you have scattered into a thousand pieces
But I have still left them laid out on our kitchen table
And there might be no reason
But I’ll damn sure show you how they rhyme
You tell me I’m fake because
I have no need for shallowness
And go straight to everything under the surface
You showed me no mercy you sucked my soul dry
So I will allow you no secrets
Because you deprived me of mine.
You were and are the only man I’ve ever loved.
And I’ll always remember the night your eyes first met mine.
It might not have been love at first sight
But as my pale green eyes met yours of blue ice
The world stopped turning I couldn’t tell you how long
And my soul knew then you were gonna become a part of it
But I didn’t know then how much were going to shred it
Because if my mind and my heart feel like its in a thousand pieces
My soul feels like its shredded into jagged pieces that I cannot describe with mere words
At times I feel like I’m dying because my memories of us keep flashing in front of my eyes
If you catch me looking off into space and my eyes are glazed over like death warmed over
Then yes I might be thinking of you though I hope I never see you again.
And though I curse you I also have to thank you
Because now I know what I don’t want in a man. ‘
You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.
You beguiled me like Lucifer with his apple to Eve.
Except you called me Mary then cursed me like Jezebel.
You put me on a heavenly pedestal then delighted in tearing it down to your level in hell.
Like Samson and Delilah.
Except I was Samson
And you were Delilah
And you betrayed me
Because you didn’t trust me
Because of your own insecurities.
I was your Doctor Harleen Frances Quinzel
And you were my joker
And you said I saved you
But you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
You can’t turn a criminal into an honest man.
You can’t save a soul when it is already damned.