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Inherently trapped

The most typical existential crisis.
Does life have meaning, or does it not?

No really. If nothing is a coincidence, if everything is connected
well, inherently that means this shit means something.
So all the heartache, pain and suffering. It was all for something.

Or

It means literally nothing at all, and people take this shit too seriously. Thus giving us a free ticket to not really care about anything. Really set ourselves free.

But, human beings like the drama. It makes us feel important.
If no-one cared, then wouldn’t that be boring?
We get lured back into the infatuation of life and love.
We want something to grasp onto & when we do not understand
we create our own story.

Why do I spend my time thinking so much about someone, who decided I do not exist? When do I keep seeing your face everywhere I go? I almost burnt, the house down my mind was in bits.

Why do we give people this power to control us, this is what they want. They want their ego nurtured, we all do. I only asked if you were okay because I wanted you to stay. I mean yes I cared, but it all becomes so self serving.

We walk away wondering where this desperation inside us comes from. The need to be validated by someone’s love for us?

The more opinions you had, the more you didn’t sway on your moral values the more I got trapped. It was almost like you hate so many things but, like me I must be special. However, I inevitably became one of those things. I knew I would be, but I let you look into my eyes like you’d never fucking leave.

So what does that mean then? What was all of that?
A few weeks ago my life was so different, and now anything can happen really. It’s so hauntingly beautiful, yet terrifying.

I literally can’t go back, I can’t understand it.
I’m not sure I ever will.

Then someone has the audacity to look you in the eye and utter “that’s life”. So if “that’s life” what does this all mean for you?
You are just gonna brush it all off like there is no meaning.

Then we go back to that internal debate of what this all means.
Was it a coincidence, or does this really not mean shit.

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