Five Minutes Back

“Son of a bitch! Not that guy again,” thought Clancy, the pitcher as Big McGregor came to bat with the bases loaded and Clancy’s team ahead 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth. He was staring him down as if he owned him. “I betcha can’t get me out,” yelled McGregor. “I’m gonna hit your pitch out of the park and into the next county.” After he checked the sign from the catcher, he went into his stretch and delivered a slider that hung right over the middle of the plate. “Crack!” went the sound from the bat and the ball sailed over the fence and out into cyber space somewhere. Clancy just hung his head then yelled at the sky, "Please, please put the time back to five minutes before, so I can throw another pitch. This time I won’t hang it again.

Just then something weird happened in the sky. It turned black, a bolt of lightning flashed, and some weird Genie thing appeared in the sky in his pink underwear hollering above the ball park. After the smoke disappeared, the score was still 3-0. Then after the bases were loaded again, McGregor was coming up to bat. After the ump called ball four, he took his base and the next batter struck out to end the game and Clancy’s team won 3-1.

Then in the meantime in Chicago, after Mrs. Murphy filled up the pail while milking her cow, the pail was empty. Then in London after the trolley went over the bridge, it hadn’t got to the bridge yet. Then in Switzerland, after Wolfgang the climber reached the top of the mountain, he let out a big, big yodel. Then he found himself climbing up the same mountain again before he reached the top so he could yodel. Then in Calcutta, Radja the exhausted rickshaw driver was so glad he reached the top of the hill, he found himself at the bottom again about to climb up. What the hell’s going on out there? Not only did Clancy’s time go back, so did everybody else’s.

(moral of the story)

Next time Clancy has to make sure to say, “Please put the time back for me ”only" so I can walk McGregor, and not put back everybody else’s time." That Genie thing in his underwear was only doing what he was told. The poor dude up there got blamed for doing the right thing. The whole world got screwed up, but at least Clancy’s team won the game.

Preferido o celebrado por...
Nelson D Reyes Grace
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