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Poop Deck Flogging

The poop deck flogging of Bob the swab,
the swab with the funky skunky bunk,
Bob the slob with the funky underwear,
“Eew”, said Captain Jack sittin’ in his chair.
 
“Up on the poop deck to get your flogging,
no dodging, dogging, sobbing, or jogging,
no hiding, sliding, gliding, riding for you,
you with the funk hangin’ off your shoe,
the tattoo with the new blue glue through.”
 
“Crack,” went the whip from Captain Jack,
back from the sack in the big black shack.
“Six flogs for you for what you did,
For stinkin’ up my ship, now go to the brig.”
 
“Would six guineas be enough for six flogs?
I had a wonderful time from your flogging.
If I gave you another four guineas,
would you flog me another four times?”
So sayeth Bob the nut case.
 
Bob the swab is a dude of total weirdness,
a grimy limey who’s really out there,
a maniac of the maniacal kind,
a poop deck flogging lover,
a slob with slobber on his chin,
too stupid to wipe it off,
an idiot of the idiotic kind,
a nut with a screw loose,
the weirdest of the weird
and a lover of the absurd,
really out there in outer space,
out, out, out.

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