The See Thru’ Man

As the pre waking hours zoomed by in my deep sleep, I was awakened by the coldness that cut through me like the north wind.  Some half human see through thing floated through the walls of my bedroom wearing old rags that must have been his funeral suit.  He was laughing at me as I went over to grab a broom to hit him with.  I swung like Babe Ruth hitting a fat pitch, but it went right through him like nothing was there.
“Go ahead and keep swinging.  I can’t feel a thing.  Ha, ha, ha, ha.  You missed.  Good try, old man.  By the way, since you can see me, but nobody else can, I got some good ghost jokes to tell ya.”
A ghost goes walking into a bar and orders a drink.  The bartender serves him a beer and asks for the money.  The ghost laughs and tells him, “I’ll have to write you out a check.”  The bartender said, “How can I trust you when I can see right through you?”  The ghost then said, “How can I drink it when I can’t even pick it up?”
“How many ghosts does it take to change a light bulb?  None, because ghosts can see in the dark.  They don’t even have to change it.
How many ghosts died of old age in Pittsburgh, PA last year?  None  
How many ghosts does it take to haunt a castle?  It depends on how many rooms there are, unless they walk through the walls.  Then it only takes one.
Can my dead grandma see everything I do?  If she can, I’m in deep dew dew.  Close your eyes, grandma, you’re not suppose to see what I’m doin’ now.  If you can, don’t tell anybody what you saw.”
I asked him if I could use some of his jokes in my comedy routine, and he told me, “Go right ahead. Who would ever believe that that you stole your jokes from a ghost?”
As he was floating around the room, he was roaring with laughter.  At least somebody thought his stupid jokes were funny.  Then he flew through the wall and sailed up to the full moon amid the howling of the wolves.  I stole jokes from the living before, but never from the unliving. You can find humor in the strangest places these days, from those that you can’t see through and those that you can.

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