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Invisible boy

On second thought, there should be a good advantage in being invisible. You see things, you hear things and you understand them, and no one cares what you have understood, and so you stay in your own tranquility. Could I be some sort of child of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. Could I be some sort of heir to a shyness that was practically nothing in particular. And someone might want to condemn me for my conditioned behavior, because I feel like I’m leaving, I’m taking things the wrong way. But I would not dare to contradict what nature seemed to have reserved for character and personality. I am human and I need to be loved as any of us need. But will not always follow the posture. Those who most need love are the ones who most despise him. On second thought, being invisible would not be an option, it would be an unavoidable condition. I might one day visit a club or a church, where I might find people who really loved me and could see through what is invisible. And I might have been very excited in those places. And I might stay in these places for hours, surrounded by people, but so alone. And maybe as it always was in my story, I left alone. And I was on my way to hell with several walls, but three-letter hell called home. And in the darkness of my room, at midnight, I wept in complete silence for the misfortune to always end like this. And maybe the tears would lead my thinking to the tragedy of suffering, and for that I would die. It is a teenage devastation I admit, it was a waste of time, it was torture that had no banishment! Some audacious reasoning would whisper to me that I was seeing everything from a tortuous, blurry angle. But for me the difference did little. I had waited too long, and all my faith that a new world could be erected amid so much worldly indifference and selfishness seems to be gone. But this situation that I describe with my blood stains nobody will care, no friend would be possible, after all I realize now that there is a certain advantage in being an invisible boy...

Ronnie

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