I don't know what to call this...just a bunch of words
you touch me
and it feels right...
...but it feels wrong
your hands down my body
and all I can think of
is them
their hands
their bodies
forced upon mine
i want to so deeply for you to use force
to be aggressive
to be rough
because....
because then i could just go far away
i’d still be pleasing you
just not aware of how
your breath on my shoulders
the sounds i hear you make...
...it feels like you want me
but then i feel his breath
hear him
and I am far from you
with him
frightened
used
nothing
you try to comfort me
i try to please
but you see through me
you stop
i cry
you hold me
i can’t
you understand
but the guilt ever gnaws away
acceptance of what they took
from me
from us
...is so hard