I didn't think you'd notice
For my best friend who battled with self harm and attempted suicide x
I didn’t think you’d notice,
If I was dead and gone.
I didn’t think you’d notice,
I guess I got it wrong.
I planned it all out nicely
As you slept soundly in your bed.
I sat up all night thinking
What would happen if I left?
Images of peace and rest
Waltzing through my head
All the while my heart was filled
With a great feeling of dread.
I wrote a note addressed to you,
Explaining what I was about to do
Please don’t ever blame yourself for this.
I stepped into the bathroom
Advancing on my certain doom
While a salty stream of tears slid down my cheek
Turn the tap.
Fill the bath.
My plan now set in stone.
Pick up the blade and feel it’s cold, I let out a soft moan.
I pressed it deep into my wrist,
Crimson trickled down my arm.
No matter what please just know
It’s not you who caused me harm.
Slipping slowly into the bath
Water turning blood red.
I see the world is better off
With me lying right here... Dead.
The lights begin to fade.
My heart beat starts to slow.
I love you, I really do but it’s time for me to go.
It’s morning now, you call my name
I’ve been lying here so long.
You wander into the room
Seeing that I’m gone.
Stopping dead in your tracks
Your face is white as snow.
Eyes full of emotion
Your voice could never show.
I didn’t think you’d notice,
If I was dead and gone.
I didn’t think you’d notice,
I guess I got it wrong.
(2014)
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