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Shenita Etwaroo

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I remember the day like it was yesterday;
Going to the pet store, optimistic, spontaneous,
And then I found you...
I knew right away that you were special.
I knew right away that you and I were meant for each other.

I took you home. I had a cage for you,
But I couldn’t keep you in there.
You weren’t just a pet…you were my baby…
Soon, you were my best friend.

From that first day our chemistry grew
We always seemed to link up together,
And while you were easy to deal with,
And I know that, at times, I was anything but,
It was still easy for you to deal with me.

I turned to you when I was sad
And anytime I was lonely.
When I was in a silly mood, I’d sing to you;

You never made fun of me for my voice,

Regardless of how off-key I was.

I LOVED to play with you,
And you loved it even more.
I enjoyed giving you your “babylicious” nicknames,
And your affectionate responses when hearing them,

You never wanted me to leave in the morning,
And acted as if I was gone for years when I returned;
You were SO happy to see me back with you;
As was I, each and every day,

You know how much I love you,
As I reminded you, day-in and day-out.
But I feel as if I could tell you a million times more.
I think I actually love you more than you love food!

You always made sure I was safe,
And you let me know when something was wrong.
When I didn’t accept your warnings at first,
You always wound up being right in the end.

I’m forever thankful for your help,
and for your guidance,

I was in pain when I was sick
But I suffered more when you were:
I never wanted you to struggle,
I never wanted you to leave.

But now I know,  you’re no longer in pain,
You’re in Heaven, your sickness at an end,
That makes me the happiest person on earth.
It’s amazing to know you’re with God,

Hopping around, grinding your teeth.

I further exceed my own joy, knowing even more:
That I too will soon get to be in heaven,
I, too, will be able to be happy…
Happy to be with God, my troubles ended.

And happy to be with you, Neo.

Promises have been whispered before,
from my lips,
from the lips of friends and more,
but none quite like this.

Each word I speak,
is one I intend to keep,
my promise will never be weak,
made by a heart no longer asleep.

Each breath I take,
is sacred to me,
because it is drawn for your sake,
for you, I will always be good.

What makes me alive
is the joy in your eyes,
what inspires me to survive
is the love that came as a surprise.

It has been a long journey so far,
brutal and unkind,
but I still sought magic in the stars,
and hoped I might yet still find
a warmth like your embrace,
a beautiful soul like you,
an angel with a familiar face,
a dream that actually came true.

I whispered my prayers each night,
I sought the promise of tomorrow,
I dreamed and lost myself in the delight
of a fantasy that whisked away all of my sorrow.

I knew you long before
we ever had the opportunity to meet,
you were the reason I was sure,
that tragedy could not deal love a defeat.

Just when I might have given in,
when I might have surrendered to solitude,
my heart you did win,
and I can’t ever fully express my gratitude.

My life is now in full bloom,
my love is bursting from deep within me,
like a fountain washing away the gloom,
and finally, truly, setting me free.

That is why I whisper this promise to you,
words sacred between you and I,
that my love will always be true,
that it will belong to you until the day I die.

Perhaps beyond, with angels wings,
our love will still grow,  
and my heart will continue to sing,
for the joy I finally know.

In the middle of the night,
I wake to the beat of my heart,
I know that you aren’t in sight,
but also we aren’t far apart.

I feel your comfort here,
just beside me in the covers,
where you used to snuggle so near,
I know beside me you still hover.

My angel during your life,
you’re my angel now as well,
I know that through all the strife,
and all of the tears that fell;
you were nestled close beside me,
your presence was soothing and warm,
I told you to go, to be free,
but your comfort around me still forms.

I used to tell you that I wouldn’t leave behind,
I never thought I would feel the agony I felt,
or that I would be left here to grieve,
until my heart would so nearly burst.

But when Jesus called you to Him,
I could not argue or fight;
I knew that you would be safe,
with His gentle and loving light.

I struggle to understand,
why I had to say goodbye;
why I lost my very best friend,
so often I’ve just asked, why?

But then you always remind me,
that you are never far gone,
that you are my angel beside me,
always there to keep me strong.

I may wish you were present,
wrapped up in my arms and well,
but I know no cause for resentment;
there is no true reason to dwell.

There was a plan, I know,
dear Neo, my one true love,
a plan that may never show,
'til I join you in Heaven above.

But I trust there was a reason,
another role for you to fill,
and despite the moments of treason,
I know that it was His will.

Now when I lie in the dark,
I don’t beg for your return;
I can still feel your living spark,
and the love that we shared  burn.

We are connected, you and I,
a unity deep to our core,
the one thing I cannot deny,
of which I will always be sure.

It will never be truly goodbye,
because I know, deep inside,
with a love bigger than the sky,
you will always be by my side.

Once I gazed helplessly
at the stars in the sky,
at the endless rolling sea,
and asked why?

I was seeking you,
without having a name to call,
I was longing for you,
willing to leap, or even to crawl.

By some magic my wish was granted,
and here I am, wrapped up in your arms.

Nothing else has ever left me so enchanted,
not any beauty, not any spell, not any charms.

I no longer gaze at the stars,
I no longer long for anything,
all I want is exactly where we are,
your embrace makes my spirit sing.

I find my paradise
in the steady beat of your heart,
I want to listen to it for the rest of my life,
it’s a sound I’ve ached for from the start.

With our hands intertwined,
the universe before us is wide and free,
it is anything that we can find,
it is anything that we wish for it to be.

Decades may pass us right by,
as we dance to the beat of our shared heart,
as we forget about the stars in the sky,
and what it ever felt like when we were apart.

No matter how rough the sea,
no matter how high the waves,
you and I will float endlessly,
through anything our path paves.

I will never drift away,
as long as I am holding on to you,
and come what may,
my fears will always be few.

I won’t find answers by staring at the stars,
all of my dreams I’ve found in your heartbeat,
it sets me free of all obstacles, of all bars,
and leaves with me no fear of defeat.

We are two flowers on the sea,
riding on the waves, letting go of what will be,
as long as it is you and me,
we will ride these waves eternally.

My heart is very strange altogether:
At times it’s covered in fur all around,
Or wool, skin or even feathers,
Depending on what animal I’ve found!

For no human love is more pure or true
Than a beloved pet, a love so strong,
And full of simple beauty, through and through,
A love which remains as a life is long.

A human, with a flawed human heart, may
Love on his own terms; but a pet I know
Who snuggles close on a wintery day
Loves no matter which way the wind doth blow.

And so I resign my heart and my mind
To the great love of rabbits, cats, dogs, and their kind.

For decades you’ve used our bodies as your pincushion
Poking, prodding, cutting, and killing.
Forcing us to be your experimental subjects
Scraping, shocking, drugging, and drilling.

Locking us up in meager dwellings
Filthy, restrictive, desolate, and cramped.
Filling me with toxins, chemicals, and poisons
Upon my skin a brand is painfully stamped.

My skin burns as you cover me with makeup and creams.
My muscles ache with each electrical shock.
My brain no longer functions as it should
You’ve carelessly destroyed my biological clock.

You alter the very DNA that nature gave me
I was not created for misery and imminent death.
Are the answers to your scientific questions
Really worth taking my very last breath?

Stop using me as your puppet, pincushion, and servant
Treat me with kindness, compassion, and respect
With all the advances to technology these days
Surely you could find an alternative subject.

Have you ever looked at the patterns on the back of a turtle shell?
How about our skin cells under a high powered microscope?
Imperfect pieces with a very perfect purpose.
This can give us hope.

Have you ever felt like you were useless?
Beaten down, exhausted, or abused?
Perhaps your life has been thrown upside down,
You’ve made mistakes that just cannot be excused.

Your heart is weary and your eyes are teary.
Your soul has reached rock bottom.
But remember the fact there is now solid ground beneath your feet.
It’s only up from here. It’s your turn to blossom.

Although life can certainly throw us curve balls
And place unwanted obstacles in our path.
We are bigger than the sum of our problems.
No doubt, God will overcome Satan’s wrath.

We must choose to face the day with a smile
Persistence and optimism are a must.
We should hold tight to the ones that support us
And in God almighty, we must place all of our trust.

Although He won’t take our problems away
He will hold our hand and see us through.
For it is by His grace and unending love that
Our sins are washed clean and we’re born anew.

Let your story be an inspiration to others.
Encouragement to those in similar situations.
For we have the tools to overcome any challenge.
Let your own accounts stand as an affirmation.

Together we can form a community,
One that spreads love, hope, and support.
A group of people, whose voices unite,
Who won’t allow you to sell yourself short.

Each of us is imperfect.
Full of scars, blemishes, and flaws.
But together we can create a perfect group
That unites to bring light to a critical cause.

As the tears spilled down my cheeks,
and my soul cried out for sweet release,
I prayed one last time for what the heart seeks,
despite the bitterness that had become my beliefs.

In the darkness that became my breath and skin,
I suddenly witnessed a streak of light,
that wakened the dormant soul within,
and taught me that things really could be right.

My angels, more beautiful than any known,
with hands so soft and gentle and warm,
healed my shattered heart and shattered bone,
around me their love and compassion did swarm.

I learned finally that I was not to blame,
that I had done nothing so terribly wrong,
and though I might never be the same,
my hurts could become what made me strong.

With love so determined and endless pride,
I blossomed beneath their soft hands,
as I became who I always was inside,
and found the strength on which to stand.

I was born into a world shattered,
into chaos and hatred and misery,
but finally someone showed me that I mattered,
and finally I learned that I truly could be free.

I will always love the way you smelled like sweet vanilla bliss,
The way you’d grind your bunny teeth, and share a bunny kiss.

I will always love how you could dry my eyes when I was down,
You knew just the touch I’d need, to vanish my every frown.

I will always love how you gave me hope, whenever I was ill,
When my life was looking grim, you gave me some extra thrill.

I will always love how you were there, even when I was wrong,
I had made some bad decisions, but you were never mad for long.

I will always love the memory of when we first linked eyes;
From right then I knew we’d be a match, with very special ties.

I will always love your selflessness, yet how you stuck around,
When I felt my feet were losing grip, you kept them on the ground.

I will always love how you would wait for me to return home,
And when I appeared you would act as though I’d just taken a throne.

Such a tiny friend, with such a true heart, one larger than more than a few,
I will always cherish the fact that you were able to love me.

In the beautiful world I see,
there is enough love,
to reach from sea to sea,
from the ground to the sky above.

In this world there is plenty to share,
no reason for war, no reason for hate,
and every being have arms that care,
harmony and wholeness are our fate.

This the world that I see,
when I close my eyes,
to block out the misery,
of a world of hatred and lies.

A world where the gentle hearted
are punished for their affection,
a world where families are parted,
and no one bothers to pay attention.

In the world I wish I did not see,
all pure things are broken,
by unrelenting cruelty,
and acts that remain unspoken.

Those that love unconditionally,
animals or people who care,
are faced with endless tragedy,
with only the solace of prayer.

It baffles the mind,
to think that anyone could destroy,
what is so warm and kind,
what only seeks to bring joy.

But time and time again,
those that hate seek to harm,
and in the end,
they disguise it with wit and charm.

When I close my eyes,
I see that beautiful place,
where all of the hurt and the lies,
has been permanently erased.

Here there is only hope,
and the chance to love one another,
there is no need to cope,
no hurt from which to recover.

Instead those born to love,
are allowed to roam and be free,
from the ground to the sky above,
from sea to beautiful sea.

But I never keep my eyes closed long,
as beautiful as it may seem,
I know I must be strong,
I must not be lost in my dream.

Instead of drifting away to a safe place,
I must pour my love from my heart,
so that one day that world will occupy this space,
and finally we will all be given a loving start.

No more strikes will fall,
on backs never meant to be broken,
no more dirty cages or tiny stalls,
no more abuse and secrets left unspoken.

No more lost and lonely,
wandering the streets alone,
no more unfathomable tragedy,
no more left without a home.

One day I will open my eyes,
and that beautiful world I long to see,
will be what before me lies,
from ground to sky, an sea to sea.

On blankets of snow
Carcasses of my siblings lay.
I watch you now
Walk away.

Moments ago,
Your greedy eyes, knives,
Merciless shadow
Had snatched their lives.

As you merry about
The cozy fur and trophy heads
I prepare to ready the shroud
Tears piling around in hundreds.

Justice waits for you…

Justice of nature…

A world dry of animals, foliage, and hue–
Nature’s punishment for our blunder.

It’s a steady sound,
despite my grief,
it continues to pound,
fluttering and brief,
but oh so very strong,
because it is filled with you,
and the type of love that wrote every song,
and made every dream come true.

It beats within me,
even as a tear is shed,
it reminds me of what used to be,
and the words that we once said.
I love you forever,
and ever,
and ever...

The moon rises,
with its milky light,
and its soulful surprises,
in which most delight.

I stare into the sky,
waiting for a sign,
an explanation for why
you can no longer be mine.

I feel it then as the stars shine,
a whisper of the wind,
a reminder that you are always mine,
in the caress of the breeze against my skin.

You are there still and always,
you are there speaking through my heart,
of all of the wonderful ways
that we are not actually apart.

Love does not come and go,
love is what creates us from the start,
love is what we’re made of, this I know,
and love is what counts the beats of my heart.

Though the night is long,
and the distance may seem great,
I know that our love is truly strong,
so strong that nothing can separate.

My heart belongs to you,
it beats with the rhythm of your voice,
everything I do is all for you,
now I hear again, and can rejoice.