Looking at the cradled trees
In tapered light and splintered breeze,
I hold back the surging ocean -
The turbulence of this emotion
Slamming into my tired mind,
Waking in what is not defined.
A silent diction of perpetual phrases
Drifting through these cloudy hazes.
Humbled by the imprisoning force
That took my words without remorse.
And thus I sense a subtle knowing
In frequenting ways of passive showing,
That I gave too much my quiet will
While wondering how I’d be there still.
Cruelty preys on lonely hearts -
No sooner whole as love departs.
Nobody wants a troubled one.
An emptiness constricts the air,
We squirm inside a watchful stare;
Listless in these endless processions
That listen for the muted confessions.
The breath is shallow in the lungs
That hears the unspoken on many tongues.
I do not fear to bring it out,
To shed a light on all this doubt.
The words I hear in cornered spaces;
A constant barrage of searching faces,
Loneliness has clouded vision -
A clever devil of mass division.
But I must know it to understand
As I hold it inside my empty hand;
A turbulence that sweeps away
The courage that would let me say
With gentle wisdom I cannot hear,
“I let myself succumb to fear.”
Nobody wants a troubled mind.
So I welcomed what I knew of light
To hold together this fragmented night.
“Get up!” I heard while on my knees
That fell upon a thousand seas
Of questions plaguing vapid sighs
That walk the world in lost disguise.
It’s special love that is not inclusive -
That jaded, paraded, red carpet exclusive.
The empty eyes while sitting in bars
That look for her in reticent stars,
As every word falls short of the feeling
Of all that life it has been stealing,
While you tended to that hungry fire
That burned to ash your every desire.
Nobody wants a troubled heart.
A solace to encase the time
In running measures of ease and rhyme,
As meaning has become diluted
And everything is now polluted;
Spilling the last human shred
That ever traversed this pensive head.
So l try to release this surging ocean -
The turbulence of this emotion.
Waiting for love to be returned
To erase the years I’ve slowly burned,
And kept inside what longed to shine
To have the heart that could not be mine;
To wash myself in a cleansing sun
And no longer be a troubled one.
love, desire, unrequited love, lgbt, lesbian, troubled, shine, healing, letting go, loving, pain