It put me to shame
How dumb and stupid I am
Living with zero death threat
(Except for a few health conditions…)
With food to eat–
Water to drink–
Clothes to wear–
Sheets to sleep in–
And money to spare–
Yet… from time to time
I’m complaining
 
Life is unfair
 
Growing up with competitions
Among cousins
And acquaintances...
Competing for the DAMN 1st in rank–
Competing for the things that’s not even existed–
Competing for a single DAMN letter with a symbol, and the 3 numbers–
A+… 100…
And the 1st in rank...
 
While some other people
Growing up with a different kind of competition...
The competition of the first to get food–
The competition to stay alive–
The competition against the hell of drugs...
I am here obsessed with the High Honor Rolls–
                                                                     And the A+
Wishing for a high SAT Score–
Doing nothing, but sitting at my desk until my butt goes sore
 
While some other people my age
Obsessed with getting themselves to feel the pain and alive again–
Wishing for nothing, but the attentions of their 'rents, or friends
And I am here... pushing the attention I get… Away...
 
It put me to shame
How dumb and stupid I am
I guess I’m spending so much time
 
Lowering and 
blaming myself for everything that happened—accusing myself of not being worth a single bit of this life I own—
to even appreciate my surroundings... and I... alone.
 
I am busy hating on me to even remember
I am still a "kid”
I am busy hating on me to even remember
It’s okay to make mistakes...
 
I guess I was too busy complaining...
And to be the 1st in rank.

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Velle-del
over 5 years

Debra,Thank you so much for your kind words, and your encouragement! :)Even though I might not regret about my grade obsession later in life, but I'm sure that when I look back to now in twenty years (ten years even), I'd wish I would at least have some times for my family, and especially allowing myself to have some fun as a kid instead of trying to push everything and everyone I have away because I believe that anything can pull me off "course".I know that we all have those moments where we look at ourselves with a slight disapprovals, and wish we would have done better :) However, if we were to never alter our paths we're choosing everyday, we would never able to see things from every perspective, and to learn from our chosen choice :)For every gloomy tunnel, there will always be a bright star that will guide us along and out the dark. No god nor man have ever made that star for us, but ourselves. From our experiences, our past, and our heart, we've made that enchanted light to guide us through our own maze of hope.Again, thank you for your benignity, and I wish you all the best :)- Velle

Debra Romero
over 5 years

I really admire your writing and I think it would only be a mistake and stupid not to want to sit at your desk and get a sore butt. I know as I was one of the other kind of kids who just wanted to have a good time. Ask me how that's worked out for me....you keep on keeping on with what you are doing...you will never regret it and you will be on your way to success! My hat is off to you

james matthew coleman
almost 6 years

My pleasure, of course :)
There is nothing insufficient about your skill as a writer! You have it... The most important things, I believe, are the feelings a poem evoke.... I see no problem with that here Velle, there are strong feelings within your work.Thank you for the kind words!

Velle-del
almost 6 years

Ay Chihuahua! Thank you for the compliments and of course, especially, for your opinions! I truly appreciate your time, and effort in reading this piece!I am still working on improving my insufficient writing skills, and the opinions of a talented poet like you, sir, is just exactly what i need!I very much enjoy reading your works.
I am also very inspired by them.Again, thank you for time!

james matthew coleman
almost 6 years

I have to pay you my respect, this is quite a curtain you have pulled open here. Very interesting, and very honest. Great job :)I'm no critic. However it seems you would genuinely like the opinions of others, not just the praise. The only thing I could suggest, is your word composition."accusing myself for not worth a single bit of life I owned"I think this would be easier read if written as:"Accusing myself of not being worth a single bit of this life I own"I hope you don't mind my 'two cents', Velle! :)... by the way, the world needs highly educated persons like yourself. Who else is going create proper solutions to the misfortune mentioned in your grand poem?? ;)

Velle-del
about 6 years

I bow to thy kind heart :)

Cory Garcia
about 6 years

"at the very least slightly below your level :)"Nope... at the very least you will live and love without regret... excepting the unknown...And for that I bow to thee ;)

Velle-del
about 6 years

Thank you for the encouragement, and the very kind words!Yes, I'm currently in that "confusing" period. Ha You know.. those times when you're not sure what character you're playing, or living in .. and you're not even sure what was your purposes and such .. eh.. okay i'll stop haha but yes, thank you, again! I am looking forward to more criticisms on my pieces- that way i could get better, and maybe someday, i could be at the very least slightly below your level :)

Cory Garcia
about 6 years

You aren't rambling... we are writers and we like to talk ;)I do mean it :)And its OK to be more confident and to do well...You are not fluff... you are an amazing writerDon't apologize for or hide what you are good at...I can tell you are having a tough day... questioning a lot... maybe comparing...All I can say is you are "that good" and you dont have to be less than what you are... It is time you give yourself permission to shine and be unopologeticaly passionate about your life...

Velle-del
about 6 years

Thank you! Do you really think so ??
And yes, its irritated me so much sometimes to see how careless, and "blind" i am about things i have and not knowing/not able to make a good use from it.. if you know what i mean ..
It also irritated me of how childish most of my pieces are on this website, i don't know.. but i feel like most of the time, i just put so much fluffs into poetry- instead of taking a bit more time and think a lil deeper into my thoughts and write about what i really had on my mind- i guess i was just taking an easy way out.. eh.. i'm starting to ramble again .. i'll just stop here :P But again, thanks for viewing my works, but please keep in mind that i am also opened to criticisms! ;D

Cory Garcia
about 6 years

Love the passion!!!Well done and very cathartic... you are such a good writer :)Even in doing good our frustrations can add up... I love the way you handled it.

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