Caricamento in corso...

The Cause

It put me to shame
How dumb and stupid I am
Living with zero death threat
(Except for a few health conditions…)
With food to eat–
Water to drink–
Clothes to wear–
Sheets to sleep in–
And money to spare–
Yet… from time to time
I’m complaining
 
Life is unfair
 
Growing up with competitions
Among cousins
And acquaintances...
Competing for the DAMN 1st in rank–
Competing for the things that’s not even existed–
Competing for a single DAMN letter with a symbol, and the 3 numbers–
A+… 100…
And the 1st in rank...
 
While some other people
Growing up with a different kind of competition...
The competition of the first to get food–
The competition to stay alive–
The competition against the hell of drugs...
I am here obsessed with the High Honor Rolls–
                                                                     And the A+
Wishing for a high SAT Score–
Doing nothing, but sitting at my desk until my butt goes sore
 
While some other people my age
Obsessed with getting themselves to feel the pain and alive again–
Wishing for nothing, but the attentions of their 'rents, or friends
And I am here... pushing the attention I get… Away...
 
It put me to shame
How dumb and stupid I am
I guess I’m spending so much time
 
Lowering and 
blaming myself for everything that happened—accusing myself of not being worth a single bit of this life I own—
to even appreciate my surroundings... and I... alone.
 
I am busy hating on me to even remember
I am still a "kid”
I am busy hating on me to even remember
It’s okay to make mistakes...
 
I guess I was too busy complaining...
And to be the 1st in rank.

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