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of sons and fathers

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”.
– Jim Valvano.

fathers and sons
sons and fathers
a relationship with unique dynamics
most times rewarding
and immensely gratifying
yet fraught with daunting challenges
and bitter adversities...
 
when the son is born
the father starts out as the protector
a giant of a man, an Olympian surrogate
and mythic hero
Bellerophon on Pegasus
out to slay one-eyed monsters
fire-breathing dragons
to defend the keep and
safeguard fortress home
to protect the young vulnerable son
 
in the son’s childhood years
the father morphs into a teacher
Socrates and Plato rolled into one
a philosopher-king the all-knowing
the revered inspiring mentor
who can answer all questions
about any subject under the sun
with unshakeable confidence and authority!
able to solve all the problems
of the universe
be it physics mathematics philosophy
albeit with feigned humility
 
but then the son grows!
in his tween and teen years
the father is viewed as a bossy taskmaster
with dubious tactics
the reincarnation of Genghis Khan
a sadistic sanctimonious curmudgeon
even a martinet!
just a necessary but unwelcome provider
a meanspirited antagonist
often a bitter rival in the family hierarchy...
but to the father
the son becomes a terrible burden
a grim albatross, a galling yoke
an obstacle to happiness in hearth and home
 
fortunately the relationship matures
if all the stars align -
in the son’s adulthood
the father becomes an equal
a friend and comrade, even a confidant
treating each other with consideration
mutual admiration society, it’s not
but a relationship of mutual respect nonetheless
this is the stage when the relationship
is most pleasant, fulfilling and comforting!
serendipitously it’s the longest of all the stages
 
at life’s sunset
the father loses a step and some of his shine!
the roles are reversed
as the father morphs into a dependent
he’ll look to his son, for guidance and assistance
for help in websites, and smart phones and Netflix
hopefully he’s there to give it
as a protector and a teacher
as a good friend, never a taskmaster
 
fathers and sons
sons and fathers
a relationship with unique dynamics
mostly rewarding
and immensely gratifying
 
 
10-15-2020
© Vic Evora
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