Self Destruction
I believe I am in danger of destroying myself
My blood pressure is too high
The doctor says I could have a stroke at any second...
I have no desire to fix this
I have started back smoking heavily
Every time I look at my anti-depressants I get an urge to take triple the dose
I avoid my mother’s questions
“Are you ok?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Do you want to die?”
All I answer back is that when my time comes it comes
As I light another she stares at me
I don’t want this
I am addicted
I am destroying myself
My lips that once used to be a vibrant pink are now a dull and lifeless color
My once great swimming skills
Gone
I am destroying myself with this smoke
Oh well.
It’s coming to an end
At least I can try to be happy
(2013)
only way I can stop is cold turkey but I just don't want to. Smoking is what I do instead of self harming. I'm looking for a solution though so I'll be fine as long as I don't give up
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