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Empire of the Ant

As I write this, I look around and I see the utter pointless pursuit
Of life. Everyone I know, helpless, hopeless and alone. Each of
Us struggling from one point to another, intermittingly satisfied
Or placated. We live as though there is an “end game.” We’ve
Fabricated stories of afterlives and bravery and honor to stifle the angst.
Compelled by Darwinian “virtues”, we delude ourselves That it’s for  
Our children, spouses or families. Sex, drugs, fame, fortune, gambling,
Academia and a thousand other diversions attempt to fill the insatiable
Holes that pepper our existence. We dare never to consider our
Consciousness  an enemy of the state.  The philosophies including    
Existentialism, Falls woefully short of explaining our bottomless pit dilemma.
We clutch for companions and long for understanding. We grapple
Endlessly with our true mammalian nature and construct societal
Models to quell  or control our animalistic yearnings. Above all,
We endeavor to snuff our emotional pain. We Recruit romantic
Partners to this end and lose ourselves in the initial dopamine nirvana
but more than not, this strategy backfires and you wind up with
more emotional pain than before. Often times, we create a
cycle of partners, each of who are employed to minimize the
previous partners contribution of pain. The crux of this conundrum
is fixed in a complex of early childhood experience and rarely if
ever, can be altered in any significant measure. To the extent that your
primary caregivers were ill equipped to meet your needs, do you experience
the severity of this heart wrenching facet of our subconscious fate. In other
words, we are completely powerless in the matter of who we are attracted to
and who we fall in love with. The biological necessity of preserving
and propagating the species further complicates matters with its
chemical mayhem. We are compelled by subconscious forces
accompanied by a schizophrenic rush of dopamine and serotonin.
We don’t stand a chance!
I haven’t even touched on inborn
Temperament  and the profound effect it has on the entire process.
Given the very best circumstance regarding early childhood experience,
A poor inborn temperament can negate the good and make for some grade A
Misery. Again, it’s luck of the draw and we have absolutely no say in the
Matter. Self help, religion and  various psychological
Approaches can make life more tolerable, but there’s always the original
Programming lurking in the shadows. In the end, the original you is the
“real” you and its triumphant fist deals the final blow.
 
Even in our finest moments, we are alone
We are born alone and we die alone, even if a thousand die or
be born with us. The person lying next to you is alone and you both will wake up alone.
We are no closer to union when we have intercourse than when we become
Hermits. If anything, attempting a union with another only reinforces our solitude.
 
I’ve pondered the loner, the hermit. I think these men are honest or at least
Authentic.  I’ve considered our fear of death and outright extinction. We’ve
Conjured notions of the most arrogant design, “Gods special creation.” We
Agree that by virtue of our importance in the universe, we will not be subject
To extinction or the other intolerable ideas left to the lower species. In my
Opinion, we are the most deserving of extinction. In the face of our inane
Insistence of immortality, we hold on to life with all our might. We pride
Ourselves at extending life and hopefully await the next technological
Advance that’ll give us another year or so.  For what? For who? Why?
In most cultures
The elderly are segregated. Physically segregated in some places and
socially sanctioned most everywhere. We are and always have been, a species
that celebrates youth. The reward for old age is seeing those around you die. Many will die slowly and some will die horribly. In the end, no one wins.

(2011)

This is the obverse of the coinage of life.

#ExistentialismModernPost

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