'Nay; I don’t need a hearing aid’ I told Mama—in—law; 'For if I had I’d be afraid Of your eternal jaw; Although at me you often shout,
From off my calendar today A leaf I tear; So swiftly passes smiling May Without a care. And now the gentleness of June
I never could imagine God: I don’t suppose I ever will. Beside His altar fire I nod With senile drowsiness but still In old of age as sight grows dim
Folk ask if I’m alive, Most think I’m not; Yet gaily I contrive To till my plot. The world its way can go,
My job is done; my rhymes are rank… My word-battalions marching verse… Here stanza-companies are none too… There print-platoons are weak, but… And as in marshalled order I revi…
I’ve wearied of so many things Adored in youthful days; Music no more my spirit wings, E’en when Master play. For stage and screen I have no he…
Where once with lads I scoffed my… The landlord’s lass I’ve wed. Now I am lord and master here;— Thank God! the old man’s dead. I stand behind a blooming bar
The Sergeant of a Highland Reg— —Iment was drilling of his men; With temper notably on edge He blest them every now and then. A sweet old lady standing by,
Light up your pipe again, old chum… I’ve got to watch the bannock bake… You’d little think that we were so… Though where I don’t exactly know… The man—size mountains palisade us…
The Spanish women don’t wear slac… Because their hips are too enormou… 'Tis true each bulbous bosom lacks No inspiration that should warm us… But how our ardor seems to freeze
A little mousey man he was With board, and chalk in hand; And millions were awestruck becaus… They couldn’t understand. Said he: “E equals Mc2:
In kindergarten classed Dislike they knew; And as the years went past It grew and grew; Until in maidenhood
Three Holies sat in sacred place And quaffed celestial wine, As they discussed the human race With dignity divine. Said they: 'Although in doctrine…
Heigh ho! to sleep I vainly try; Since twelve I haven’t closed an… And now it’s three, and as I lie, From Notre Dame to St. Denis The bells of Paris chime to me;
I haled me a woman from the street… Shameless, but, oh, so fair! I bade her sit in the model’s seat And I painted her sitting there. I hid all trace of her heart uncle…