i felt you slip away

i heard your voice fading out

i couldn’t make out your words

i reached out for your hand, that old familiar skin

but you rolled like smoke around my fingertips

i watched your love drag out behind you

like a trail of breadcrumbs you dared me to follow

but i would never find what i searched for at the end of that path

i looked in the mirror

and saw a strangers face

the worst part of realizing you were gone

wasn’t your leaving, or your going, or your escape

it wasn’t watching my past, my present, my future

walking - then running away,

no. the worst part, the thorn in my side,

was the immobility,

the inability to move, to breathe, to function, to think,

the inability to move forward, or go back,

but only to be stuck in this present moment -

alone, lonely–

and watch you join up with someone else.