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Amanda Nechesa

Let it be known

let it be known that my body is trying to kill itself, and I am its unwilling accomplice

Let it be known that my body wishes death upon itself
let it be known I have no control over this
let it be known, as I sit here with yet another cigarette on my lips
that this is not me
this is my body
doing whatever it can to end itself
 
Let it be known that I was always the too-silent girl
the I-will-rather-play-by-myself-than-with-people girl
the too-shy-girl
the boring girl
let it be known all these changed when alcohol and cigarettes and all the other drugs smoothly caressed the veins of me
 
Let it be known that my body wishes death upon itself
let it be known I have no control over this
let it be known, as I sit here with yet another cigarette on my lips
that this is not me
this is my body
doing whatever it can to end itself
 
Let it be known that I was always the too-silent girl
the I-will-rather-play-by-myself-than-with-people girl
the too-shy-girl
the boring girl
let it be known all these changed when alcohol and cigarettes and all the other drugs smoothly caressed the veins of me
 
Let it be known that my body says it cannot survive without a boost
it wants and craves and wants and craves
let it be known that I am never one to say NO
especially to the things that make my soul feel like it’s on fire
 
Let it be known
my body is trying to kill itself
and I -
I am its unwilling accomplice

#amandanechesa #letitbeknown

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