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Daddy Issues

I loved my father
He was a great man
He was the worst of kind
Sometimes he made me want to die
Others he showed me how to shine
I loved that man
Without prejudice
Despite his faults
Because he was a great man
A gifted
Intelligent
Hard-working provider
Who loved his family
Regardless of the demons he tugged around
And the ugliness he held within
He was my daddy
My protector
My safe nook
The one I looked to for comfort
The one I longed to make proud
As a child
He strung the stars from the sky
He painted the world in happy hues
A beauty that defied the human eye
But everyone has a darkness they hide
Lurking deep in the depths of their haunted minds
This was the man I hated most
The ugly monster
That preyed on the ones he loved most
Laughing at our pain
As he watched us burn and turn to ash
This was the ugliness I learned to resent
This was the man who taught me of hate
It was this stranger
That forged a wedge between us
As the years took my innocence
My father
A man always armed with a punch
Eager to give another bruise
He could hurt like no other
A word or a slap
It never mattered which he weapon he held
He always left his mark
Imprints that never quite healed
My dad
A great kind of guy
Who loved his family
A guy who was
Quirky
Witty
Smart
Who could always make us laugh
The life of the party
When others were around
And when things were going well
A man that held so much good
But when it rained it poured
And his palm often itched
And his lips often twitched
When his demons caught him
And he lost the battle with the bottle
Releasing the darkness he carried within
The fire-breathing dragon
The man I hated most
The sadistic monster
Who preyed on our pain
Causing rivers of tears
As he became our worst fears
But every family structure has cracks
Little gaps in the foundation
Issues that need a patch
These our mine on display
As melancholy swims to the surface
Regrets threatening my sanity
As I’m haunted by memories
Remembering the good
Remembering the bad
Remembering the man
Remember my dad

(2013)

I often write when I'm working through something. Just like everyone I have my moments where I find myself reflecting on times past. This is just one of the many where my rambling thoughts are blotted across the screen.

#ChildhoodFamily #Memories #Pain

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