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This heart of mine

My brain is not working,
I can clearly tell.
I tried so hard to refuse,
but like a fool, I cede to you.
The harshness in your words
cuts deeper than the blades.
What have you done to me?
 
I tell myself to stay away,
to simply accept that our worlds
we’re not meant to collide.
Even if sometimes I talk about ourselves,
being together in another universe.
Maybe on the dark side,
or somewhere in the past,
wherein this fantasy of mine,
you hold me tightly in your arms.
 
sick and tired of telling myself excuses,
of the reasons why you may not love me.
But none of them works enough,
to make me understand how you could reject
this heart of mine.
 
My brain is not working anymore,
am intoxicated by thoughts of who you used to be.
But maybe you were never there.
our at least not like my mind tells.
You were present, but never on the same page.
Maybe the idea of you is better than the actual person I talk to.
And now I know this, for a fact, memorized and committed.
But as I said, I lost all senses.
and it seems like I’ll forever be drowned to you,
like the sea to the shore.
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