My Love is Complicated, by Antuan Philipp Ferreira

My Love is Complicated

I’m in love with the idea of being in love

I don’t remember ever truly loving someone

In the past, but I do remember liking many

A lady at the same time.

I’m still not sure if it is love

I feel, but it’s a great feeling

Towards you.

I cannot seem to suppress it,

Nor do I wish to.

It is a wonderful feeling in my

Chest that makes me feel as if

My heart is aflame.

I truly wish that you may

Feel the same, as this is the

Nearest I’ve ever been to love.

If only you would notice me,

If only I weren’t this shy,

If only you weren’t taken.

The mere thought of you,

The mere sound of your voice,

The mere sight of your precious face,

It makes me feel alive!

(29/07/2014)

I have an addiction That feeds my soul. Not food nor drink satisfies Like this unholy deed. This deed I perform

This pain is surreal: It’s torn me apart And distorted my mind. I can feel it scorching, Like fire to flesh,

Why does this keep happening? Has it become a habit? How long will it carry on? What you said was the truth, But it left a dagger in my chest;

Chemistry; Lust; Perversion; Denial; Shame…

Love. A word that has become an old clic… A word that used to have depth and… One that used to control all man’s… And define our lives,

Here I sit With my head in my hands, My entire body jittering. My heart is racing, My ears are ringing,

I have been told that I need help… Do you think the same? I can not undo the past Nor forget what I’ve done Have you any idea why?