The Way He Left Me
for Josh
I see through my never ending sadness
Friends tries to bring me joyfulness
Their attempts to humor me
Never do succeed
Yet I stand here talking upon you
And all you see is what you hope is new
And through the depths of my despair
I see you grasping onto what is not there
I try to break down these heavy walls
Yet they never seem to fall
I see you over there holding my light
The one that never seems to be bright
I try desperately to tell you how I feel
Yet all my thoughts you seem to steal
There seems to be an empty black hole
It is full of nothing, I call it dull
The things I get told about you
Are they lies or are they true
My feelings for you I try to cover up
Yet I’m told they shouldn’t be shut up
I try desperately to reach out to you
Yet undercover I always stay blue
The emptiness swallows me whole
My happiness will never be full
I do things to try to distract myself
Although I need to stay my true self
Your decisions are not very wise
In stupidness they come in big size
Now away from you I must flee
And come to my senses I now see
I feel my whole widening getting bigger
I have thoughts of pulling the trigger
Some of my friends say I have it bad
Others have it worse they go mad
I’m afraid this might be the end of me
My happiness seems to no longer be
I would do it all but I’m afraid to die
Yet I throw it all away with a sigh
I hang on to you for my life once again
I feel this time something might actually begin
The way you look at me
Sets my loving heart free
All of my friends yell and scream at me
For reasons in which I really don’t believe
For with you there really is no other
You are like my long lost lover
My friends that are friends with you
Tell me of what they think of you is true
That you are a horrible read through jerk
Any relationship with you never works
That I should stop dreaming night and day
That finding another lover possibly is a way
Yet I tell them to leave me be, back off
They are just jealous of me, cough cough
I tell you I hate you, you say it right back
Its like a Taylor Swift song about not getting back
Now my friends tell me there should be a new chance with you
All the while I’m thinking are their words really true
I hear it all the time from many different friends
All the while I’m thinking when will this madness ever end
(2012)
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