Back then u think nothing of it, to me it was simple as tying your shoes before you head outside, i mean, i lived here, and he lived there, that’s your father, your his son, but why does he not stay here, nah i never asked that question, it was simple to me, the man that stayed here that i constantly saw everyday of my youth, he was my dad, he took me out to play basketball, he took me out to learn baseball, we watched the NBA on tv, its because of him why I became such a fan of Michael Jordan, where as i wanted to be like mike, and he told me it was ok to be like him, at times this other man would come by and pick me up, take me away, far from where i lived, long drives across the highways, as night fall would begin, i remember seeing signs and more signs, and then trees and then mountains, where was I headed, i have brothers and sisters, that i never knew, so i was going to meet them, according to my mom, and this man, this man driving that’s my father, I’ m his son, but how do you know, when they aren’t around for you to feel comfortable saying, dad, the man i knew as dad, he lived where i lived, i saw him everyday, well what do i know I’m just a child, they don’t explain to you the why’s of the situation, your just told it is, or you just go about it as it is, well your to young to realize or understand it, life is simple as a child, as simple as cartoons on Saturday mornings, that’s when they came on, it just is, no questions needed, therefore no answers, i started playing sports taking it seriously, as she took me to my games, did i ever wonder, well where is the man i know as dad, well he’s gone now, and that other guy, yeah him, my father, he was never here so i didn’t ask is he coming, it was simple to me, as simple as she takes me to the games, my biggest fan, but you see when we entered the gym, everything was simple to me, because this was how this scene always was, except i did notice, I’ m young but I’ m not blind, I’ m not dumb either, or better yet, i did pay attention, why because, things were simple to me, until something seemed like it didn’t seem, but this is how it always was, as i begin to hear cheers, cheers of my name, cheers of support for me, but not just from her, not from him because he was gone, and especially not from him either because well he was never here, it was cheers from dad, but those dads weren’t mine, so it was simple to me, but as i began to age differently, those cheers in my ears, turned to questions, i had a few questions, but i dare not ask, i wasn’t old enough to ask, but i did wonder, and even if i had answers, would i get it, one thing i did get was, as simple as it was to me, i no longer wanted simple, because it became difficult to understand, why this was so, so, so simple, why was i ok with this for so long, but i never knew it bothered me, until i asked my self the questions, i got answers, i remember trouble in school, she tried to help me, she tried to get me right, she did, this is probably where he could’ve helped, but who is he, he was him and it wasn’t time to pick me up yet, so he wasn’t coming, and when he did, i just cried, because i had words, words that couldn’t be explained with words, years go by as they always do, and that too is simple to me, time goes on, i remember her story she finally decided to tell me about, and after that moment, what was simple to me was my different view on how what i saw as simple was no longer that,  i remember a time when i got in trouble, she came, he didn’t, but he had words, he had words, that added gasoline, to the fire fueling, its a stain that can’t be washed away, because simply its not that simple, i would lie if i said its not a day to day struggle, because i still have questions, but now, now, after all this time, do i want those answers, because if its not an answer that settles with me right, then its not an answer, its simple, I’ m grown now, which means i should be able to understand now, she raised me, to be a man, without the man, so now i am, but what i missed out on, or wait what he missed out on, now its my turn, because years go by, and time goes on, i now teach my little man how to be a man, when its his time, as i claim my position as him, but not him him, i mean him but as me, im here cause i live here, and my little guy he lives here, what i won’t do, is allow my lil guy to sit here and type this later, now my only question will be, how, how could you wanna miss out on all this, and by this, well its still being written, but we, we will proof read it together, only difference is, what we write, will be totally different, maybe we will start it with, hey u remember when, and then he will read that and maybe, just maybe, he will tell me why, maybe he can make it simple again, you see only man can teach a boy how to become a man, i learned, not the simple way, but i learned, and now i teach the lessons, and my little guy he will say dad this was simple, did this confuse any of u, because i just tried to explain it as simple as i could, so when he is ready i hope his answer is just that simple