Heart-gave
The first time I ever heard
the word heartbreak
I immediately felt sad
You said heartbreak and I
heard broken I pictured jaggered
edges cut limbs and crying
The first time I ever saw heartbreak
was like meeting an estranged family
friend I already knew too much about
“I’ve heard a lot about you” I said
they snicker “only good things I hope”
knowing full well they were far from it
The first time I ever felt heartbreak
was not what I expected I did
not feel shattered or sharp no
I checked the inside of my frame
and there was no broken glass
no obvious sign of tampering
Checked the structure of
my dressing table it was fully intact
nothing was damaged at all
Maybe it doesn’t count as heartbreak
if you take pieces out on purpose
and hand them out like gifts
I didn’t feel broken or cut
or bleeding or stitched up
I don’t still ache in that place
Is there a word for when you
look at something new and whole
and just feel like something is missing
That feeling when you rummage
through a bag
a box
a body because
it doesn’t feel all there
That is the heartbreak I feel
even though they tell me
it’s not fair.
