Unprescribed Ativan
Diaphoresis woke me up in the middle of the night again
nightmares fill my sleep, think I’m in heaven or at least i try to pretend
Going through hell, contemplating suicide, but is that where it really ends?
leaving my seed behind to fend for himself, thought fucks with my brain
talking to a picture of my dead father, asking for advice guess i really am insane
Patiently I wait for a response, I pray to my heavenly father ask him for strength
In my dreams he replies, shows me a long road with a sign that sits to the west reading" you can conquer all, no matter the length"
Never been the kind to sit still and wait for something to come my way
ironic how things came to be, now I have no choice, so defenseless I lay
thought I always had a good stance on the ground beneath me
never thought Id lay my sword down, and at burial site my stone reads “defeated”
throughout these years my soul was dead, oxygen depleted
trying to find myself, but never advanced in my journey
in my thoughts, the end results were never really that worthy
taking a couple of breaths after 17 years its quite relieving
saying goodbye to the old me, waving my hands, saying goodbye, hes already leaving.
