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separation

the more i think the more i fight for breath
but i cant
im finding it hard to breath
this world is closing in around me
im sufforcating
this isnt me, please, this isnt me
my life has changed forever
im not ready
i feel sick, so sick
my throat is pinched tight
my eyes are stinging, my  head it prickles
my hands they tingle with panic .
i cant think straight
But my mind keeps racing
im doomed, im doomed
stop thinking
stop
that awful mind fog this time has needles in it
i cant draw in my breath deep enough im drowning in it
im drowning and there’s nobody to pull me out
all my dreams are fading and falling to dust
cant think, cant think
the numbness that sheets my skin is sickening
need help
no one there
my social phobia, i cant feel it, amongst the monsters, i cant feel it, only this.
is this what it feels like to die?
im not ready to say goodbye
suffering in the silence that surrounds  me but that noise in my head  invading me, engulfing me
i want to wake up but this nightmare is a reality
help, please help
there is nobody to hear my soundless plee
is anyone looking down on me?
watching me?
feeling me?
can they help me and guide me my way?
maybe they dont  exist and we all walk alone down here everyday
I dont want to be alone
i dont want to believe that, its even worse
the waves of grief are crashing into me, overwhelming me knocking me down
taking every breath
blurring my vision
the waves that push me over, they hurt
i try to stand
but as soon as i do
Crash.
I cant breath

(11)

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