Obsessed with finding out how you are,
and the best method to reach out to you.
If only I had known myself,
before I got to know you.
And now I don’t know what is left to say
but the words “I wish I’d shown you”.
Then we would have felt like we had a choice
and built our lives on what is true.
Now I don’t know what to do with all of this,
or how I can let it go.
If there are words that I can give that will lead us anywhere,
then please God, let me know.
I can’t stand the way I can see my past,
though I understand I was in pain.
I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes
and I would not choose to do the same things again.
Now I’ve heard nothing from your side,
and I just want to know the truth.
Can’t you just give me a glimpse of your heart-aligned eyes
whether or not it embarrasses you?
I’m sick of living in this ignorance;
feeling like I’m the only one who’s been seeking to see,
Maybe because of how I have judged myself,
I’m the only one who will end up free.
But I want you to know the truth just as much
from both sides as well as objectively,
and to see the light
that brings us further
than even that kind of sight.
And if not any of that then I just long
for you to tell me genuinely
that you hope within your heart of hearts
that I am happy.
And then I want to know how you are right now,
not how you were yesterday.
I want to know that you are at peace,
and that you have found your way.