A Disney creature has soulful eyes,
Inhales the posies, gnaws no flesh,
Knows sin from virtue in a flash
And sobs a quart when Mother dies.
A Disney creature lacks an anus,
Keeps his cozy den quite clean,
Refrains from any act obscene
And mates in private not to shame us.
The creature earns our sympathy:
His looks and ways are captivating.
Still somehow there is nothing there
That has for me the honesty
Of chortling jackals salivating,
Gobbling guts of long-dead deer
Republished with permission from "The Aardvark Adventurer," 2005