(News Item:Scientists photographed men’s faces, then measured their testosterone levels. They showed these photos to women, asking them which men they would prefer for sex and which as fathers of their children. The women invariably preferred for a quickie the males with the highest testosterone levels, for fathers faces that reflected kindness.)
A woman finds the truth in ways a male
Can’t grasp, and science proves they rarely fail
To know at once if men are good in bed,
If nowhere else, or if they would instead
Be kind to wife and children, making sure
They thrive, though such as lovers might prove poor.
And having seen a hirsute, handsome man
With high cheek bones and South Sea Island tan,
The smitten woman knows unconsciously
His level of testosterone, and she
Then tends toward ones who won’t be thankful
Just because they seem to have a tankful.
These lustful types will always be a hit
While kindly saps can merely babysit,
Yes, Valentinos get the lively sex
While kinder souls mind kids and bring home checks.
I don’t condemn the women —they soon see
They must choose safety over ecstasy,
But, fellow Casper Milquetoasts, I must say,
Be wise and check your children’s DNA.
Published with permission of "Lyric," August 21, 2006